I've been sitting in the dark of the living room for the last ten minutes, looking straight through a cup of hot chocolate. The cursor blinks on the screen in front of me in the darkness, expecting my fingers to start flying over the keys, emptying thoughts into the keyboard. This is how bad it's got. I'm anthropomorphising the damn laptop - inventing expectation and obligation - imagining it impatiently waiting for some words to render on the screen. Do you ever feel like much of your existence is predicated by the decisions of others? That's you're essentially the fool on the hill - spinning around and around while the music plays on. It doesn't help that the waters surrounding my little hill have been pretty turbulent this week. We were always warned that girls would become more difficult as they grew older. That's all I'm going to say about that. I guess the one shining light of the last few days has been the opportunity to meet a distant friend, and to remind myself that life goes on - that outside work, chores, and the endless treadmill of normal life, there is more. While the opportunity to step outside normal life for a short time seems rare, I need to remind myself that the same opportunity exists inside too. When lost or lonely, I need to remember the most unlikely friendships forged across the vast reaches of the internet. In the past I have wondered aloud what drives me to write - to share my thoughts. I've wondered if it's really about processing, rather than sharing. Sometimes late at night I scroll through past posts and feel a little like Mr Darling taking dreams out to admire once the children have gone to bed before putting them back away, and stealing myslf for another day. Get in touch!By far the most reliable way to get in touch with me is via email: Social NetworksI can also be found on most of the popular social networks: Instant MessagingFinally, I can be found via the following instant messaging apps:
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Saturday, 1 June 2024
The fool on the hill
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